Good grief?! Is that Possible?

What is grief?

Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is a natural part of life. Grief is a typical reaction to death, divorce, betrayal, job loss, a move away from family and friends, or loss of good health due to illness. It is a Gog-given emotion that will ultimately bring you to a point in your life where you can become a better person. The Bible puts it this way in Ecclesiastes 3:4… [There is] “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.”

How does grief feel?

Just after a death or loss, you may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock. You may notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating.
You may become angry—at a situation, a particular person, or just angry in general. Almost everyone in grief also experiences guilt. Guilt is often expressed as “I could have, I should have, and I wish I would have” statements.
People in grief may have strange dreams or nightmares (which I personally struggle with), be absent-minded, withdraw socially, or lack the desire to return to work. While these feelings and behaviors are normal during grief, they will pass.

How long does grief last?

Grief lasts as long as it takes you to accept and learn to live with your loss. For some people, grief lasts a few months. For others, grieving may take years.
The length of time spent grieving is different for each person. There are many reasons for the differences, including personality, health, coping style, culture, family background, and life experiences. The time spent grieving also depends on your relationship with the person lost and how prepared you were for the loss.

What are the steps of grieving?

Every person who experiences a death or other loss must complete a four-step grieving process:
1) Accept the loss. Pray for God’s help in understanding what has happened.
2) Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain of grief. Don’t force yourself to heal immediately. Understand that you may never be the same, but you will be okay.
3) Adjust to living in a world without the person or item lost. Slowly rebuild your faith and foundation for living.
4) Move on with life. Knowing that you may have forever lost someone will probably never be a cause to smile, but you can find peace again. It may take some time, but that is okay too.

The grieving process is over only when a person completes the four steps. What if these feelings won’t go away? If you recently experienced a death or other loss, feelings of grief are part of a normal reaction. But if these feelings persist with no lifting mood, ask for help.

Most importantly…

Draw close to your faith in God, family, friends and those around you that truly care about you. Find purpose in loving them, serving others, and fulfilling the needs of people who are also in the grieving process. Loving people and helping others find peace has an amazing way of providing self-therapy. You may find that your purpose or place in life is completely different from that which you ever would have imagined.  Remember that the night is only here for a short time.  Then the morning comes and with it comes the joy of light.

Truth wins!

~ by Scott Herrin on April 30, 2011.

2 Responses to “Good grief?! Is that Possible?”

  1. Beautiful blog Scott. I’m going to share this with my dad next week. It’s amazing how you hit the nail on the head with the process of grieving. As I was reading this, i kept thinking you wrote this about Dad…..kind of like when you read stuff about your astrological sign and think, “Yep, that’s me!” Only this is genuine truth, not generic truth. I especially like the part about the guilt. This has been a struggle for him, and we have had several talks about it. He listens and thanks me, but now I realize that nothing I say, however true it is, will change things for him. He has to go through this himself, never alone but alone in the length of time it takes to heal. He put his house up for sale in Baton Rouge yesterday just one week after the anniversary of Mom’s passing. He’s moving next door (Tyler Emerson’s house). This has been a major decision for him and hopefully will bring him one step closer to acceptance and the healing power of Grace. They were married 53 years, so it’s going to take some time. I think he has to want it, and he’s not ready to want it.
    Thanks so much! This definitely makes me have more patience, understanding, and healing of my own.

  2. I’ll be praying for him and y’all too. He will never be the same, but he will learn to live a different life and you will be a big part of that. Cange will be good. And hopefully he will see God at work around him.

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